Words, words everywhere
Heard my father on the air
Saw my father in a dream
I awoke he wasn't real
My heart broke.
I cried when he died
He had been long dying in my head
He stopped living long ago
Dead he looked just like grandmother.
Grandmother took care of me
She had a blue chamber pot
Covered with blue flowers
She took me down the stairs
Away from the loud airplanes.
Then the part I don't recall
I won't, can't
Think of it at all.
Now I am
The only one who's left,
Abandoned for the last time.
Where is the one
Who gave me birth
Her face I never see
Didn't she care
Why did she abandon me
She is dead now
Finally justified
In ignoring me.
December 6, 1999